Today is my last day as a minor. It seems like an 18th birthday requires at least a certain amount of pre-planning. I mean, there has to be a lot of ways to take advantage of one’s adulthood, right? Allow me to brainstorm.
- Buy a slingshot. I wanted to get a slingshot a few years back, and was surprised to find that one had to be at least 18 to purchase one, at least at a Wal-Mart store. And, well, slingshots are pretty handy tools to have.
- Get a hotel room. Hey, I’m allowed to! I could totally go book a hotel room. And like, totally make a bunch of trips to the ice machine. Hang out at the swimming pool. Or watch HBO! Hell yeh!
- Buy pr0n. I’m not really much of a pornography guy. That said, I just might go out in search of a certain adult film entitled 1,001 Ways to Eat My Jizz, Part 3: Biscuits and Gravy Edition. No explanation required.
- Register to vote. It’s all of our responsibility.
- Buy some spraypaint. Or maybe some glue. Because I can.
Fuck. Conclusion: being an adult = being a minor plus a few small advantages, and much more accountability.
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